Life.

[Lightnin]

Sorry to read this Birdy, must be a sad time for you to have to go through. Hope you can stay amicable at least for the little one.

[lemon]

Sorry to hear this and I hope that new opportunities and relationships come your way as soon as you want them to.

[Hopalong]

Sucks doesn't it?

I'm 40 next month, at the weekend while away with friends wife and I have decided to separate, relatively amicable right now. Just too much wrong to fix now after everything. 

So at 40 I'll be freshly seperated, single Dad who may even have to move back in to my fucking parents judging by cost of living down in the South West.

Therefore, if I seem stressed and short tempered, and really not up for dealing with shit in here, that's why.

Never too late Birdy, leave no stone unturned because things are never the same.  It's only at the separation stage - not even that yet.  Absolutely worth fighting for if that's what you want    Maybe try and get away together somewhere neutral to talk it all through.

We've tried, we both know it's over, and it is amicable, both more relieved than upset truth be told.

Thought you probably had, well you've done what you can then.  Hope things get settled amicably and wish you all the best in the future.

[Pf1ster]

All the best Birdy. Take care of yourself.

[Babel]

Sorry to read your news, Birdman. "Time heals" may be overused, but is mostly true.

[Brentbaggie]

Only just got to this thread Birdy. Sorry to hear about what you've gone through but pleased you and your wife (ex-to-be) have been so sensible about it. I think I always knew I wasn't ready to settle down (because I'm a twat) so didn't do so until I was into my late 30's. And I've been very lucky with a wonderful wife and two great children (both bonkers but there you go, can't have everything). I wish you all the best and I'm sure you'll come out of it happier than you clearly haven't been.

---

You can't beat a woman that keeps you on the edge of insanity.

Well you can but generally the police get involved as a result.

[Pontificator]

I read this thread with much interest and I am not in any way trying to make fun of you situation BTW. I came to realise that women choose. They choose you. They then embark on a mostly subtle sometimes discernable program of trying to change you into a version of their father and/or their misconception of what their ideal bloke is. They are never happy and when they realise they can't do it, they end up hating you. People don't change and it helps if you can accept each other from the start. Personally I have given the fuck up, as it were. I am quite old now and the most important thing in life is to make the best decisions you can and be happy. Of course it helps if the Baggies are winning.
I wish you all the best!

[Spandaubaggie]

I read this thread with much interest and I am not in any way trying to make fun of you situation BTW. I came to realise that women choose. They choose you. They then embark on a mostly subtle sometimes discernable program of trying to change you into a version of their father and/or their misconception of what their ideal bloke is. They are never happy and when they realise they can't do it, they end up hating you. People don't change and it helps if you can accept each other from the start. Personally I have given the fuck up, as it were.  I am quite old now and the most important thing in life is to make the best decisions you can and be happy. Of course it helps if the Baggies are winning.
I wish you all the best!

Have to disagree Pontificator.

I think much of it is how self-assured you are in your own skin and how easily you go jelly-legged at a girl fluttering her eye lashes at you.

Of my mates who got divorced it was obvious to the others of us that all marriages would fail. One lad was too young, just 22, another seemed to make do as he was approaching 40, and he seemed like he could do better, but she worshipped him. The one I mention who married the loon was always a hopeless romantic and just seemed to lose his marbles when a girl had interest in him.

My wife certainly doesn't want me to be like her father. In fact she's learnt what good parenting is by doing the opposite of him. He always put himself first, full of ego, a bully, and spent most of their childhood in the pub.

I personally didn't settle down until a good bit into my 30s and knew myself and what I was about. I'm sure if I'd married earlier it would have been a mistake.

[Bob Fossil]

If a marriage fails, there is usually fault on both parts, certainly was in mine. We were very similar to Birdy though, whereby we gave it our best shot, but knew when the time was right to call it a day. Everything was amicable and I'll always be thankful for the good times. We didn't stay friends though, but we were never enemies either, think a clean break is the way to go.
Like I said, I have since remarried and am very happy, but I have made a conscious effort to be a better person this time round.

40's the new 30 now anyway now. Still young enough to be daft, but old enough to not be stupid.

[Fulham Fallout]

Judging by the replies I think you've just joined the club we are all in!. I hit 50 the wife bought me a ukelele then announced she was moving out. Luckily my mom helped me out with paying her off and I kept the house and kids. We still get on. In the 7 years since i've been out and had relationships with a few great women and the dingle lady I currently see is for keeps I think. Life's just beginning mate try and enjoy it as much as you can!!

Around half of marriages fail. I was in a group of 6 lads who hung around together for years after leaving school. Three of us are on our first marriage and the other 3 divorced.
Tough on Birdy, but what he's going through isn't unusual and he needs to bear this in mind on the adjustment ahead.
Of the 3 mates split from their first Mrs, one has remarried and another has the life of an international playboy in his mid 50s. Life goes on.

Is it FF?

Arf. 

I’ve been divorced for 22 years now and had a few serious relationships since, but have certainly had a lot of fun over the years being single. 
  
Life is far too short to be unhappy and I was unhappily married and so bailed out as I thought that would be better for my children in the long run.