Non Goal-Saving Goalkeeper Button

[DemonicBaggie]

With Captain Shitbeard in front of you though, how much chance do you have?

To be fair his beard is the only thing that isn't shit.

Beg to disagree. Every time I look at Captain Shitbeard's shit beard I imagine bees flying from it. They're probably what he's been pointing at the whole time he's been here. This would finally explain the mystery of exactly what the fuck it is he's always pointing at.

Although bees are useful they can also be very distracting, further explaining his poor levels of concentration and positioning. Shitheard may not be as shit as many of us believe, rather he may be preoccupied by attempting to swat his beard bees.

Captain Shitbeard should shave his shit beard off as it's clearly detrimental to his game. Maybe.....

That started my day with a good loff 

[Kit Kat Chunky]

+1

[Babel]

Time to toggle button?

[Bob Fossil]

The actual truth is that Button is never really there. As a dyed in the wool ABBA fan and longstanding member of the fanclub, he got the idea of creating a hologram of himself, which he projects on to the pitch. This explains why, although he seems to be there, the ball just sails through him as if he was made of cigar smoke.

This allows David to sit with Ken all day playing Fifa, whilst listening to Mama Mia and eating Wotsits (Ken isn't allowed Wotsits as it makes him hyper and shit himself, but David does allow him to snuffle crumbs from his shitbeard)

[GunsOfNavarone]

The actual truth is that Button is never really there. As a dyed in the wool ABBA fan and longstanding member of the fanclub, he got the idea of creating a hologram of himself, which he projects on to the pitch. This explains why, although he seems to be there, the ball just sails through him as if he was made of cigar smoke.

This allows David to sit with Ken all day playing Fifa, whilst listening to Mama Mia and eating Wotsits (Ken isn't allowed Wotsits as it makes him hyper and shit himself, but David does allow him to snuffle crumbs from his shitbeard)

Those aren't Wotsit crumbs, they're discarded pieces of pollen which have fallen from his facial honey farm.

[baggiebloke]

He's crap, far too easily undone.

[Peachy]

Doesn't command his box. Doesn't organise his defence. Doesn't instill confidence in the defence. Doesn't save shots. 

You can look at any metrics you want but the guy is just rank bad.

How Bruce hasn't had a look at Palmer is beyond me. Well actually its not as its Steve "I'll play the old pro's" Bruce. Palmer had a very decent game against Derby in the cup. Could do nothing with the goal but pulled off 3 or 4 very good saves that night.

[Slowpoke Gonzalez]

Every time a ball goes through him, he says "oh Buttons!"

[Bob Fossil]

He's crap, far too easily undone.

It just zips past him, never seems to get it in his clasp.