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Who'd want to be a young bloke on the pull these days?
#1
Had this chat over the weekend with our old neighbour, who is a woman in her early 60s, and she was saying to me and my wife how confusing and scary it must be for men in this new climate post Harvey Weinstein. I found her views refreshing. 
Also, it's been good to see the French actress Catherine Deneuve has said likewise, because I'd be petrified now how to play it on the pull as the rules of my era seem to have been overtaken by a very dangerous and judgmental juggernaut.
Firstly, for the Guardian readers and the likes,  I'd like to say some of the stuff these blokes did that are being reported are just plain sexual assault/rape and I don't condone anything that some of these characters did in a position of power.
However, looking at that #me too thing on Twitter, which I have to as part of my work, just had me shaking my head in disbelief at how pathetic some folk are.
There was a 'bloke', yes 'a bloke' who said how distressed he was because his lady boss kept on making lewd comments to him and mentioning his hairy chest. He said how it led to depression!
If that was me and I'd told my mates about that, they'd have said: "Well did you give her one and if not why not?" Yep, basic blokey stuff, but sorry I have no sympathy for this guy that he couldn't handle, what was at worst a bit of banter.
Also, there was a woman who said how a workmate had plied her with drink and then in the pub tried shoving his tongue down her throat, and in doing so had also grabbed one of her hooters.
Now, it's unpleasant, but surely the vast majority of women has had some similar tale to tell. OK, the bloke wasn't her type, he chanced his arm, but really it's a bit different from meeting a powerful Hollywood mogul in a bathrobe and then him getting bollock naked and chasing them around a hotel room, which started this whole subject.
Being honest, I think most blokes have at least once in their lives misread the signals from a woman, or maybe clumsily attempted to cop off with a girl who really doesn't want to know on a long shot.
Blokes have been labelled now as sex offending perverts for touching women on the knee or even coming out with jokes that backfired. These folks were just deemed creeps or chancers by the generation of women I grew up alongside.
It's a very scary time to be a bloke and I really hope we can see a bit of commonsense, because at the minute there is a terrible witch-hunt, which whilst good for capturing the predatory sex pests is wrecking many decent chaps. 
Sadly though I think getting this message out is tough. We live in a era of ridiculous over-reaction, and where taking offence and giving a label is generally the starting point for every action. PC madness as usual.
Incidentally, two women in Walsall, grabbed my nuts from behind when I was at the bar in the Dilke back in the late 80s. I have learnt to deal with that without the need to get therapy. 
In all. I'm so glad to have been a young bloke in the 80s and 90s out on the town. We have to move forward, but I can't see what's happening now is at all healthy for men or women.
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#2
(01-11-2018, 06:49 PM)spandaubaggie Wrote: Had this chat over the weekend with our old neighbour, who is a woman in her early 60s, and she was saying to me and my wife how confusing and scary it must be for men in this new climate post Harvey Weinstein. I found her views refreshing. 
Also, it's been good to see the French actress Catherine Deneuve has said likewise, because I'd be petrified now how to play it on the pull as the rules of my era seem to have been overtaken by a very dangerous and judgmental juggernaut.
Firstly, for the Guardian readers and the likes,  I'd like to say some of the stuff these blokes did that are being reported are just plain sexual assault/rape and I don't condone anything that some of these characters did in a position of power.
However, looking at that #me too thing on Twitter, which I have to as part of my work, just had me shaking my head in disbelief at how pathetic some folk are.
There was a 'bloke', yes 'a bloke' who said how distressed he was because his lady boss kept on making lewd comments to him and mentioning his hairy chest. He said how it led to depression!
If that was me and I'd told my mates about that, they'd have said: "Well did you give her one and if not why not?" Yep, basic blokey stuff, but sorry I have no sympathy for this guy that he couldn't handle, what was at worst a bit of banter.
Also, there was a woman who said how a workmate had plied her with drink and then in the pub tried shoving his tongue down her throat, and in doing so had also grabbed one of her hooters.
Now, it's unpleasant, but surely the vast majority of women has had some similar tale to tell. OK, the bloke wasn't her type, he chanced his arm, but really it's a bit different from meeting a powerful Hollywood mogul in a bathrobe and then him getting bollock naked and chasing them around a hotel room, which started this whole subject.
Being honest, I think most blokes have at least once in their lives misread the signals from a woman, or maybe clumsily attempted to cop off with a girl who really doesn't want to know on a long shot.
Blokes have been labelled now as sex offending perverts for touching women on the knee or even coming out with jokes that backfired. These folks were just deemed creeps or chancers by the generation of women I grew up alongside.
It's a very scary time to be a bloke and I really hope we can see a bit of commonsense, because at the minute there is a terrible witch-hunt, which whilst good for capturing the predatory sex pests is wrecking many decent chaps. 
Sadly though I think getting this message out is tough. We live in a era of ridiculous over-reaction, and where taking offence and giving a label is generally the starting point for every action. PC madness as usual.
Incidentally, two women in Walsall, grabbed my nuts from behind when I was at the bar in the Dilke back in the late 80s. I have learnt to deal with that without the need to get therapy. 
In all. I'm so glad to have been a young bloke in the 80s and 90s out on the town. We have to move forward, but I can't see what's happening now is at all healthy for men or women.

You sure they were women?? Big Grin
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#3
It’s not rocket science, all these men have to do is not sexually assault anyone.
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#4
(01-11-2018, 07:00 PM)Duffmon Wrote: It’s not rocket science, all these men have to do is not sexually assault anyone.

You make it sound so easy...  Big Grin
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#5
(01-11-2018, 07:05 PM)Choronzonbaggie Wrote:
(01-11-2018, 07:00 PM)Duffmon Wrote: It’s not rocket science, all these men have to do is not sexually assault anyone.

You make it sound so easy...  Big Grin

It may come as a surprise to the tit cricketers out there, but it is possible to pull a woman without groping them first.
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#6
It's not as simple as not sexually assaulting someone. Offering to help or offering your seat on a bus is just as likely to get you a dirty look as it is a thank you.

We reached the stage a few years ago where you had to be careful if you wanted to help a child who looked alone and lost. Now you have to be really careful how you approach women even if your intentions are completely well-meaning. Not a pleasant atmosphere at all.

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#7
"Hello Darling "now constitutes statutory rape apparently.
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#8
(01-11-2018, 06:49 PM)spandaubaggie Wrote: Had this chat over the weekend with our old neighbour, who is a woman in her early 60s, and she was saying to me and my wife how confusing and scary it must be for men in this new climate post Harvey Weinstein. I found her views refreshing. 
Also, it's been good to see the French actress Catherine Deneuve has said likewise, because I'd be petrified now how to play it on the pull as the rules of my era seem to have been overtaken by a very dangerous and judgmental juggernaut.
Firstly, for the Guardian readers and the likes,  I'd like to say some of the stuff these blokes did that are being reported are just plain sexual assault/rape and I don't condone anything that some of these characters did in a position of power.
However, looking at that #me too thing on Twitter, which I have to as part of my work, just had me shaking my head in disbelief at how pathetic some folk are.
There was a 'bloke', yes 'a bloke' who said how distressed he was because his lady boss kept on making lewd comments to him and mentioning his hairy chest. He said how it led to depression!
If that was me and I'd told my mates about that, they'd have said: "Well did you give her one and if not why not?" Yep, basic blokey stuff, but sorry I have no sympathy for this guy that he couldn't handle, what was at worst a bit of banter.
Also, there was a woman who said how a workmate had plied her with drink and then in the pub tried shoving his tongue down her throat, and in doing so had also grabbed one of her hooters.
Now, it's unpleasant, but surely the vast majority of women has had some similar tale to tell. OK, the bloke wasn't her type, he chanced his arm, but really it's a bit different from meeting a powerful Hollywood mogul in a bathrobe and then him getting bollock naked and chasing them around a hotel room, which started this whole subject.
Being honest, I think most blokes have at least once in their lives misread the signals from a woman, or maybe clumsily attempted to cop off with a girl who really doesn't want to know on a long shot.
Blokes have been labelled now as sex offending perverts for touching women on the knee or even coming out with jokes that backfired. These folks were just deemed creeps or chancers by the generation of women I grew up alongside.
It's a very scary time to be a bloke and I really hope we can see a bit of commonsense, because at the minute there is a terrible witch-hunt, which whilst good for capturing the predatory sex pests is wrecking many decent chaps. 
Sadly though I think getting this message out is tough. We live in a era of ridiculous over-reaction, and where taking offence and giving a label is generally the starting point for every action. PC madness as usual.
Incidentally, two women in Walsall, grabbed my nuts from behind when I was at the bar in the Dilke back in the late 80s. I have learnt to deal with that without the need to get therapy. 
In all. I'm so glad to have been a young bloke in the 80s and 90s out on the town. We have to move forward, but I can't see what's happening now is at all healthy for men or women.

Did you buy another bag?
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#9
(01-11-2018, 07:09 PM)Dreamkiller Wrote: It's not as simple as not sexually assaulting someone. Offering to help or offering your seat on a bus is just as likely to get you a dirty look as it is a thank you.

We reached the stage a few years ago where you had to be careful if you wanted to help a child who looked alone and lost. Now you have to be really careful how you approach women even if your intentions are completely well-meaning. Not a pleasant atmosphere at all.

Really? Not my experience.
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#10
(01-11-2018, 07:19 PM)Derek Hardballs Wrote:
(01-11-2018, 07:09 PM)Dreamkiller Wrote: It's not as simple as not sexually assaulting someone. Offering to help or offering your seat on a bus is just as likely to get you a dirty look as it is a thank you.

We reached the stage a few years ago where you had to be careful if you wanted to help a child who looked alone and lost. Now you have to be really careful how you approach women even if your intentions are completely well-meaning. Not a pleasant atmosphere at all.

Really? Not my experience.

Give it time.

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