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Separated families and Christmas
#11
have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships. The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch. The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

My thoughts FWIW are you walked out on your wife and 3 kids because you'd "fallen out of love" Mate if every man did that the % of kids living with their biological parents would be even lower than the pitifully low number it already is.
You are upset, but think about it for 5 minutes just how upset do you think she was when you laid that "fallen out of love" stuff on her. Just how upset do you think your kids were by as you put it "your decision" to leave. How would you like it if she had of walked out on you and the 3 kids, and then said I'd like my kids hugs and kisses on Christmas day? My sympathies here are 100% with your wife, all our decisions have consequences and the consequence of the decision you took is that probably you don't get to see your kids on Christmas day. You need to man up, minimise the upset and annoyance to your wife, and as a result your kids and frankly stop feeling sorry for your self.
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#12
(10-24-2017, 02:16 PM)Votebaggie Wrote: have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships.   The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch.  The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

My thoughts FWIW are you walked out on your wife and 3 kids because you'd "fallen out of love"  Mate if every man did that the % of kids living with their biological parents would be even lower than the pitifully low number it already is.
You are upset, but think about it for 5 minutes just how upset do you think she was when you laid that "fallen out of love" stuff on her.  Just how upset do you think your kids were by as you put it "your decision" to leave. How would you like it if she had of walked out on you and the 3 kids, and then said I'd like my kids hugs and kisses on Christmas day?  My sympathies here are 100% with your wife, all our decisions have consequences and the consequence of the  decision you took is that probably you don't get to see your kids on Christmas day.  You need to man up, minimise the upset and annoyance to your wife, and as a result your kids and frankly stop feeling sorry for your self.

Utter bollocks.
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#13
(10-24-2017, 02:25 PM)Choronzonbaggie Wrote:
(10-24-2017, 02:16 PM)Votebaggie Wrote: have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships.   The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch.  The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

My thoughts FWIW are you walked out on your wife and 3 kids because you'd "fallen out of love"  Mate if every man did that the % of kids living with their biological parents would be even lower than the pitifully low number it already is.
You are upset, but think about it for 5 minutes just how upset do you think she was when you laid that "fallen out of love" stuff on her.  Just how upset do you think your kids were by as you put it "your decision" to leave. How would you like it if she had of walked out on you and the 3 kids, and then said I'd like my kids hugs and kisses on Christmas day?  My sympathies here are 100% with your wife, all our decisions have consequences and the consequence of the  decision you took is that probably you don't get to see your kids on Christmas day.  You need to man up, minimise the upset and annoyance to your wife, and as a result your kids and frankly stop feeling sorry for your self.

Utter bollocks.


Thanks Claire Rayner

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#14
[quote='Votebaggie' pid='154748' dateline='1508854604']
have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships.   The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch.  The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

My thoughts FWIW are you walked out on your wife and 3 kids because you'd "fallen out of love"  Mate if every man did that the % of kids living with their biological parents would be even lower than the pitifully low number it already is.
You are upset, but think about it for 5 minutes just how upset do you think she was when you laid that "fallen out of love" stuff on her.  Just how upset do you think your kids were by as you put it "your decision" to leave. How would you like it if she had of walked out on you and the 3 kids, and then said I'd like my kids hugs and kisses on Christmas day?  My sympathies here are 100% with your wife, all our decisions have consequences and the consequence of the  decision you took is that probably you don't get to see your kids on Christmas day.  You need to man up, minimise the upset and annoyance to your wife, and as a result your kids and frankly stop feeling sorry for your

So you would rather him stay in a relationship where you bicker 24/7 it's no good for the kids or anyone else
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#15
(10-24-2017, 02:16 PM)Votebaggie Wrote: have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships.   The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch.  The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

My thoughts FWIW are you walked out on your wife and 3 kids because you'd "fallen out of love"  Mate if every man did that the % of kids living with their biological parents would be even lower than the pitifully low number it already is.
You are upset, but think about it for 5 minutes just how upset do you think she was when you laid that "fallen out of love" stuff on her.  Just how upset do you think your kids were by as you put it "your decision" to leave. How would you like it if she had of walked out on you and the 3 kids, and then said I'd like my kids hugs and kisses on Christmas day?  My sympathies here are 100% with your wife, all our decisions have consequences and the consequence of the  decision you took is that probably you don't get to see your kids on Christmas day.  You need to man up, minimise the upset and annoyance to your wife, and as a result your kids and frankly stop feeling sorry for your self.

Whilst I agree that every decision has a consequence, I think you need to understand that the kids are as much his as they are his ex-wifes and whilst it was his decision, he also still has a life to live of which he'd quite obviously like his children to be part of.

Quite brilliant how you've said this isn't the place for advice and then acted like some sort of professional with the advice of "man up and stop feeling sorry for yourself". I don't think you'd be in a job long with that advice!
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#16
(10-24-2017, 02:16 PM)Votebaggie Wrote: have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships.   The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch.  The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

I think there's a lot of jest here but equally a number of people who have been through a lot in life and can give there perspective. As always you have to read all and make a decision usually somewhere in the middle.

Congrats on making it a 10 pager though Big Grin
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#17
Votebaggie - Wow. Just wow, lud.

I will not give any serious/specific advise as I have no idea how it feels not being a parent. BUT, I will wish you the best of luck in finding a suitable solution. My friend has this issue with a past partner and the mother of his 3 kids and she regularly uses them as a weapon to hurt him. Fingers crossed you can paper over the cracks in time to save the children any heartache.
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#18
(10-24-2017, 02:25 PM)Choronzonbaggie Wrote:
(10-24-2017, 02:16 PM)Votebaggie Wrote: have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships.   The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch.  The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

My thoughts FWIW are you walked out on your wife and 3 kids because you'd "fallen out of love"  Mate if every man did that the % of kids living with their biological parents would be even lower than the pitifully low number it already is.
You are upset, but think about it for 5 minutes just how upset do you think she was when you laid that "fallen out of love" stuff on her.  Just how upset do you think your kids were by as you put it "your decision" to leave. How would you like it if she had of walked out on you and the 3 kids, and then said I'd like my kids hugs and kisses on Christmas day?  My sympathies here are 100% with your wife, all our decisions have consequences and the consequence of the  decision you took is that probably you don't get to see your kids on Christmas day.  You need to man up, minimise the upset and annoyance to your wife, and as a result your kids and frankly stop feeling sorry for your self.

Utter bollocks.
Well said Nick. Complete and utter fucking bolkocks. I'm seperated from my son's mum. Have shared residency (New name for joint custody). We share everything  where it's practical. It's "my" Christmas this year so my son will be at home with me on Christmas eve and day and will go to his mum on boxing day. Bet you're the kimd of bellwhif that thinks women make better parents than men.
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#19
(10-24-2017, 02:16 PM)Votebaggie Wrote: have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships.   The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch.  The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

My thoughts FWIW are you walked out on your wife and 3 kids because you'd "fallen out of love"  Mate if every man did that the % of kids living with their biological parents would be even lower than the pitifully low number it already is.
You are upset, but think about it for 5 minutes just how upset do you think she was when you laid that "fallen out of love" stuff on her.  Just how upset do you think your kids were by as you put it "your decision" to leave. How would you like it if she had of walked out on you and the 3 kids, and then said I'd like my kids hugs and kisses on Christmas day?  My sympathies here are 100% with your wife, all our decisions have consequences and the consequence of the  decision you took is that probably you don't get to see your kids on Christmas day.  You need to man up, minimise the upset and annoyance to your wife, and as a result your kids and frankly stop feeling sorry for your self.

Possibly one of the harshest things I have read in years! 

Ever thought of being a social worker? 

I have laid off replying to the OP because I don't understand the complexities of the relationship involved and unless anyone does fully then it's a very hard thing to give advice on it. I'm happily married with two lovely little kids and the thought of not being around them doesnt bare thinking about so I empathise hugely with the situation and hope it works out amicably for the kids sake.
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#20
(10-24-2017, 02:16 PM)Votebaggie Wrote: have to tell you this is definitely not the forum to get balanced advice with regard to relationships.   The attitudes to women on here are some where between medieval and at best a Harry Enfield "women know your place" sketch.  The best advise is some kind of professional arbitration from people who have some fucking clue what they are talking about.

My thoughts FWIW are you walked out on your wife and 3 kids because you'd "fallen out of love"  Mate if every man did that the % of kids living with their biological parents would be even lower than the pitifully low number it already is.
You are upset, but think about it for 5 minutes just how upset do you think she was when you laid that "fallen out of love" stuff on her.  Just how upset do you think your kids were by as you put it "your decision" to leave. How would you like it if she had of walked out on you and the 3 kids, and then said I'd like my kids hugs and kisses on Christmas day?  My sympathies here are 100% with your wife, all our decisions have consequences and the consequence of the  decision you took is that probably you don't get to see your kids on Christmas day.  You need to man up, minimise the upset and annoyance to your wife, and as a result your kids and frankly stop feeling sorry for your self.

Yes this is probably not the best place to seek advice of such a personal nature.

It's probably not the best place to give it either.
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