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+--- Thread: Scapegoat special part 1 (/showthread.php?tid=10536)
Scapegoat special part 1 - HawkingsHalfpint - 05-30-2020
Hi everyone, and wh-Helcome to a very special edition of Scapegoat Corner today with me, w-wH-awkings-Halfpint, wh-HAIR I am joined today by very special guest and housewives’ favourite Dan Whalker, who’s very familiar with our other special guest today indeed…! Welcome, Dan.
“Thank you whoHWawkings and it’s really great to be here; you know in all my years at the BBC I’ve been a hHuge fan of this show but I’ve never been allowed to come on until I broke the chains of the MOTD production team, you know?”
I bet, Dan, quite literally I bet. I was too busy shafting Maitlis anyway. Anyway, onto our extra special guest today folks; don’t worry we didn’t broadcast over world-service to everyone whom is Lizzie loyal, including even those in hHampton Loade and the Pitcairn islands; just for this handsome no-mark, oh no. Because today, ex-Villa left-back haters, we have for you someone even more cuddly and loveable than Dan…. He’s queerer, he’s cheekier, he’s cuddlier around the middle… it’s none… other than….
GIVE IT UP FOR MARK BUMMER LAWRENSON!
<Studio audience goes wild, as production manager mic whistles in my ear: “And… cut. You getting this Hawks? Applause, cheering, bodily fluids even, erupting in a tsunami of hysteria from the audience. Fuck me we got ‘em this time Hawks. They fucking love him, we have spunk on the floor. Repeat. SPUNK ON THE FUCKING FLOOR. Yeah OK we know its not a first for Scapes live on air, but jizz happens and the show must go on, but it is still AUDIENCE JIZZ on our FUCKING FLOOR BITCHES! Fuck corona, who needs ratings now. We got spunk. And those who have retained the contents of their ballsacks surely never will as Mark tantilises us with a short, planned pause. Think about it Hawks. What will he be wearing? Tache, or no tach? What about the hair? Blow dry beer-queer? Casual bummer, slick ponce, perhaps? Or maybe even waking up in a hedge, with one tramp’s bollocks as a moustache and another pair as a pillow? And he can pull them all off can Mark. We can barely wait… oh Mark…. Beautiful, beautiful Mark… a pundit Adonis crafted by the delightful hands under God’s commission by Michaelangelo on the streets of Preston…. Give it to us Mark… Anyway back on in five… four (keep it up Hawks)… three… two… (you’re beauitiful) and…. ACTION!>
Hey Mark! And welcome to Scapegoat Corner. We’ve been dying to hear all about your lockdown….
To be continued, if I can be bothered.
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - SausEggBaton - 05-30-2020
Its spacegoat!
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - HawkingsHalfpint - 05-30-2020
I think I am going to cast Mark Corrigan's boss out of Peep Show as the Production Manager. That character has legs to run with.
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - albion_pigeon - 05-30-2020
You've definitely got your mojo back Hawks
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - Llandudno Baggie - 05-30-2020
Howling - how rude!
Be bothered.....
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - HawkingsHalfpint - 05-30-2020
(05-30-2020, 02:24 PM)Pickle Rick Wrote: Definitely fallen down the rabbit hole* once more
Could probably make reference to the Cornish film scandal whilst Lawro mulls it over sucking on a Fisherman's Friend...
* other holes are available
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - The liquidator - 07-11-2020
Let's be having you
Bartley for the goal
Kanu Robinson harper for being absolute dogshit when coming on .
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - Duffers - 07-11-2020
Harper according to the match thread.
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - ItsAGoal - 07-11-2020
There are some obvious weakest links since lockdown...
RE: Scapegoat special part 1 - Sliced - 07-11-2020
(07-11-2020, 04:49 PM)Duffers Wrote: Harper according to the match thread.
Do you think he had a good game?